The Falcon's Gyre

Oak Ridge Community Orchestra, May 2011 Concert

2011-05-07T14:00:00.001-04:00

These recordings aren't by ORCO, although the ORCO concert is being recorded.

Gabriel Faure, Pelleas et Melisande. Like Peer Gynt, this music was composed to accompany a play.

I.

Watch at YouTube.

II.

Watch at YouTube.

III.

Watch at YouTube.

IV.

Watch at YouTube.

Jacques Offenbach, Orfee dans l'enfer, an overture arranged at a later date than the first performance in 1858. Get out your clutching pearls -- someone's not taking French opera seriously!

Watch at YouTube.

Ravel, Pavane pour un enfant defunt. There is only a hypothetical, conceptual dead infant involved, as Ravel composed this as a conjectural piece, something that might have been performed in the Spanish court.

Watch at YouTube.

Claude Achille Debussy, Prelude a l'apres-midi d'un faune

Watch at YouTube. Dancing by Rudolf Nureyev.

Georges Bizet, Carmen Suite No. 1. And now, excerpts from one of the most famous operas ever.

I. Prelude

Watch at YouTube.

Ia. Aragonaise

Watch at YouTube.

II. Intermezzo

Watch at YouTube.

III. Seguedille

Watch at YouTube. Up tripods!

IV. Les dragons d'Alcalla

Watch at YouTube.

V. Les Toreadors

Watch at YouTube.

One Year Shy of a Century

2011-04-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

And it doesn't seem that much has changed.

No one wanted to pay life insurance on the band members aboard the Titanic.

White Star said they were private passengers, because they were contracted out through the talent agency C.W. & F.N. Black, which had a monopoly on entertainment the British Atlantic steamships at the time. Although each band member was given a 2nd-class ticket, they were housed in crew's quarters.

The Blacks routinely took out insurance policies on their talent, and told the families to contact their insurance agent.

The insurance agent refused to pay out, and got a judgment in its favor. The families were finally beneficiaries of a public charity -- The Titanic Relief Fund.

This is a runaround all too familiar today. One is tempted to draw reference to dead peasants' insurance, the practice of large companies to pay life insurance policies on their employees with the companies as beneficiaries, except it seems that the Black talent agency didn't get a payout, either.

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

2011-04-02T00:34:00.000-04:00

Behold!

2010-12-21T05:00:00.002-05:00

I bring you good tidings of great joy, which will be to all people.

(Image copyright (c) 2010 Tom Williams)

Ahh, Suburbia

2010-12-17T11:58:00.000-05:00

Watch at YouTube.

Vanity Plate

2010-11-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Lovely to LOL at, perhaps not so much to own.

It's a Little Dimmer Today

2010-11-29T11:39:00.003-05:00

Leslie Nielsen has passed away.

I hadn't really thought about it very much, but I think his Commander Adams in Forbidden Planet is as much an influence on a certain, much more popular starship captain from a decade later as anything else from the science fiction of the previous eras.

Of course, later in life Nielsen turned into a lovable goof.

But he was always an entertainer. He shall be missed.

Edit: Mr. C. has closed his restaurant.

And also Irving Kershner, who directed The Empire Strikes Back and Never Shay Never Again, one of the rare non-Broccolli James Bond movies, has passed away.

And Then There Was The Time ...

2010-11-25T12:00:00.002-05:00

... Huey, Louie and Dewey's gag turkey fell flat.

Image once again shamelessly lifted from (postmodern barney).

White Wine in the Sun

2010-11-24T14:39:00.000-05:00

Watch at YouTube.

Truths for Mature Humans

2010-11-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

Here.

Someone Miscalculated.

2010-11-12T09:08:00.001-05:00

Watch at Youtube.

This is video of the demolition of the Ohio Edison Mad River Power Plant's old tower. It was supposed to fall to the northeast, or to the right in the video. Instead, after a couple of delayed detonations, it falls to the left, smashing through a set of power lines which run very close to the camera's position. The power lines whip up and down wildly, endangering the observers. No one was hurt.

'They'

2010-11-11T10:33:00.002-05:00

The Bishop tells us: 'When the boys come back
'They will not be the same; for they'll have fought
'In a just cause: they lead the last attack
'On Anti-Christ; their comrades' blood has bought
'New right to breed an honourable race,
'They have challenged Death and dared him face to face.'

'We're none of us the same!' the boys reply.
'For George lost both his legs; and Bill's stone blind;
'Poor Jim's shot through the lungs and like to die;
'And Bert's gone syphilitic: you'll not find
'A chap who's served that hasn't found some change.
' And the Bishop said: 'The ways of God are strange!'

Siegfried Sassoon

Pratchett Knighted; Forges Sword

2010-09-22T09:25:00.001-04:00

This year, he took his new station of Knight Bachelor seriously: Pratchett took it upon himself to forge a sword using more than 175 pounds of iron ore found in a deposit near his home in Wiltshire. For good measure, he added several chunks of meteorite — “thunderbolt iron” for their “highly magical” properties: “you’ve got to chuck that stuff in whether you believe in it or not.”

Never Work With Children Or Animals

2010-09-21T10:09:00.000-04:00

Watch at YouTube.

This is apparently Take 74.

Thanks to Cute Overload.

I Don't Think It Works That Way

2010-09-19T14:35:00.000-04:00

"Sie sind unter uns" means "they are among us." I think you can probably think too much into that.

Watch at YouTube.

Nerd Shirt!

2010-09-18T09:45:00.000-04:00

WANT.

Oh, Wow, You're Still Here?

2010-09-17T10:25:00.001-04:00

Whoops, did I leave the lights on all this time? :)

Here's some content for my faithful readers:

Bob Kessel's Square Superhero Art.

I had a lot of trouble identifying some of the more complex art here as to whom it represents. But don't worry, the post tells you who it's supposed to be.

The Wit & Wisdom of Stephen Fry

2010-08-24T11:12:00.001-04:00

My favorite bit is where the bailiff faints.

08:15 a.m., August 6, 1945: 80,000

2010-08-06T10:31:00.001-04:00

This atomic explosion was an underground or ground-level test performed in 1953 with a weapon that is roughly the same as the Hiroshima bomb.

This Is Why Internet Polls Don't Work

2010-07-30T14:04:00.002-04:00

The photo, from Roger Ebert's Twitpic Feed, shows two sets of the Top 10 Best Novels in English, one determined by experts hired by Modern Library, the other determined by popular poll.

Four of the reader's poll entries are by Ayn Rand; three are by L. Ron Hubbard; and the rest are Tolkien, Harper Lee, and George Orwell.

The Modern Library's list includes Fitzgerald, Joyce, Nabokov, Huxley, Faulkner, Heller (oddly not specified), Koestler, Lawrence, and Steinbeck.

Reminder: Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's good for you.

Cost 'Em Some Money

2010-07-30T13:13:00.003-04:00

So it turns out that there's a raft of really badly-placed ads on Scienceblogs right now -- for creationism, medical woo, and Hubbardology.

But the thing is, SB's ad policy is on a page-view basis, not on a click-through. When you load an SB page, the people who want ads on that page get billed a small micropayment.

So I'm going to go over there and refresh Pharyngula several hundred times this afternoon, and if I figure this right it's going to cost the Church of Hubbardology money.

Eh, it ain't Anonymous, but it helps.

Ricardo Montalban:

2010-07-27T20:07:00.000-04:00

Less sexy in German.

Somewhere, Alan Moore Is Smiling

2010-07-26T13:17:00.002-04:00

Infinity Magazine, first issue, November 1955.

Alan Moore was all of two when this was published, but perhaps it still had an influence at some later date, because in Watchmen, after Dr. Jon Osterman has a fatal encounter with an "intrinsic field subtractor," he has to pull himself together -- and in one panel, his circulatory system is giving people fits.

From Roger Ebert's twit pic feed.

Barbara Ehrenreich on the Perils of Positive Thinking

2010-07-14T10:37:00.001-04:00

Via Pharyngula.

More RSA Animations here.

She Has A Storefront Down On 34th & Vine

2010-07-08T22:42:00.001-04:00

The Coasters, Love Potion No. 9, 1971.

That kind of makes The Clovers' version look pedestrian.

Watch at YouTube.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, FOLKS!!!

2010-07-04T18:53:00.001-04:00

Rick Barber's Tax Scheme

2010-07-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

So there's this guy named Rick Barber who's running on the Republican ticket for the 2nd Congressional District in Alabama. He's already run one ad in which he practically rails at men dressed as the Founding Fathers -- in particular, Franklin and Washington -- about how bad things are today, that we have an IRS that's going to make us buy health insurance, and the gentlemen he's addressing started a war over a tea tax.

Setting aside the simplicity of the war over tea for another time, Mr. Barber was on cable television recently, trying to explain to Chris Matthews how he would structure the taxes:

BARBER: No, you wouldn’t be adding any tax.

The fair tax is a replacement for all the embedded tax that’s estimated to be in the products and goods and services that we have already because of our current income tax.
...
MATTHEWS: You would get rid of the sales tax in localities?

BARBER: You would get rid of Social Security, capital gains.

MATTHEWS: No, no, no.

(CROSSTALK)

BARBER: You would get rid of Medicare and Medicaid. You would get rid of the death tax.

All of those conservative bugbears.

BARBER: The estimated tax that’s already embedded in the goods is 23 percent. You would get rid of the embedded tax, replace it with the fair tax, and the states would then have to choose how they want to tax beyond that.
...
MATTHEWS: You’re talking about a George Washington character, talking about gathering an army against our own self-elected government, not the British government, not a foreign tyranny, but our own elected government.

BARBER: No, sir. No, sir.

MATTHEWS: Yes. Look --

(CROSSTALK)

BARBER: You’re putting those words in my ad. It says gather the army and the army we’re referring to --

MATTHEWS: Against whom?

BARBER: Gather our political army.

MATTHEWS: Oh, political army. You didn’t say that.

(CROSSTALK)

BARBER: Absolutely.

MATTHEWS: He’s wearing a military uniform and says gather your armies and you’re saying that’s a metaphor.

BARBER: Chris, do you know who a metaphor is? Do you know what hyperbole is?

Maybe not, but I know what patronizing is.

They finally get to something I can parse about the "fair tax":

BARBER: Here’s an example. You’ve got a Coke -- Coke today costs a dollar. Today, you pay a dollar. In that dollar are already 23 percent of taxes that we don’t see. The difference is now that Coke is going to cost 77 cents, but you’re going to see 23 percent of tax on top of that 77 cents to still yield a $1 Coke and then you add your 8 percent sales tax locally on that. There’s your correct analogy.

Ah-ha. He believes that a portion of the sticker price of every product in the store -- he claims it's 23%, I'd like to see his evidence -- consists of taxes that we don't see. Now this might make some sense if he's talking about taxes on businesses and factories, which taxes are of course passed along to us because corporations are concerned with their bottom line and not our interests as consumers. But what does he want the sticker price to be? Does he want the sticker price on that can of Coke to be $0.77? Then it certainly looks like an extra 31 cents gets added on in taxes, and that's not 23% or even 31% -- for a 77-cent can of Coke 31 cents is darn near 50%!

Or does he want the sticker price to be $1, but the receipt to print out $0.77 and $0.31 in taxes? That seems designed to get people upset about sales tax, which he would probably see as a good thing, because then they would clamor to lower sales taxes and he would look down from on high and ~~whisper, "no."~~ explain that we can only do that by slashing Social Security and the common welfare.

What he probably wants is for the tax burden on that can of Coke to be shifted to the consumer. He probably thinks that consumer products would be cheaper if the corporations don't have to pay taxes and fees and things, whatever goes into that 23% figure he's bruiting about, but they really won't be if you add in that tax at the point of consumption.

Oy. I hope this guy doesn't win his race.

JAQing Off

2010-07-01T09:38:00.004-04:00

Shorter Bruce Walker, at The American Thinker:

"Barry" Obama is a real nice guy to have a beer with, and is therefore eminently unsuited to be PUSA.

WARNING! WARNING! Actual Quote Follows! NONFICTION! NONFICTION!

As Robin of Berkeley observed in her truly scary article, Barack Hussein Obama may well be have been a traumatized victim in his youth, perhaps of sexual abuse. If he is, then Obama will have personality disorders which simply cannot be cured (read Robin's article for the details). If Robin is right, then at some point, the true, hopelessly sick Obama will show himself before a horrified nation. Average Americans will no longer like the president. They will, instead, be saddened and repelled -- and they will emphatically expel Obama and his supporters from power or influence in our lives. When folks stop liking Barry, the party is over. [Emphasis mine]

Gee, thanks for helping victims of child sexual abuse move past their trauma, there, you jerk.

And that link to Robin of Berkeley's horrible article will take you to another instance of JAQing off. She's just asking questions, guys. Of course, the questions are why is Barack Obama so strange? and did his drunkard father beat him about the head in Indonesia? and does he have Asperger's Syndrome or is he merely mentally ill? and did his mother leave him in the care of a self-admitted child-molesting Communist? so only go there if your blood pressure is crashing.

These articles, like Goldberg's opus Liberal Fascism, are just intended to get these smears into published form so that they can be referenced as authority on Obama by all kinds of smear artists. Now that Bruce Walker and Robin of Berkeley have produced these articles in which they wonder, in wide-eyed childlike innocence, if Obama is not, in fact, fucked in the head, people like Glenn Reynolds and Andy Schlafly can point to these articles as support for declaring that Obama is, indeed, fucked in the head and that this fucked-in-the-headness is the least of our worries. Don't you know he didn't tip Medvedev off to our intentions to arrest those Russian long-term spies?!?!

The Big Lie: you're soaking in it.

Thanks to Alicublog.

2012: The Doctor Who Movie

2010-06-25T10:53:00.003-04:00

And guess who's confirmed to play the good Doctor?

Johnny Fucking Depp.

This is like a fanboy's dream combined with a nightmare, because this is what Mr. Depp had to say about the part:

"The Doctor will absolutely have a serious romance. I can not reveal who my co-star is yet but I'm told she is a strong, lovely actress that everyone knows and is perfect for the part ... The Doc is always portrayed as this mysterious Demi-God. Russell has penned this wonderful, exciting script that humanizes this all-powerful alien. The Doctor is actually given a name in the film, I'm told he never really has one. He also acts like a Physician in more than just his title. He's called The Doctor for a reason. His mission is to journey through time and space with a crew of volunteers treating humanity's illnesses brought on by invading aliens. He cures the bubonic plague and then goes to Africa to fight Ebola. The film will be very human and relevant and have a great message."

The mystery of who the Doctor was before he started wandering the galaxy is a great source of stories and was especially played up during the last few years of the classic series.

Giving the Doctor a name nails him down. I don't suppose this prevents him from being Rassilon and/or Merlin, or the Creator of the Universe, but it just feels too concrete to me.

Perhaps someone will give him a name, rather than him revealing his own. That would actually fit in better with the whole Mystery Man angle, of a guy who's had so many identities he gets confused sometimes, himself.

Anyway, Depp is a wonderful actor and I'm looking forward to seeing the film, but there is a mantra playing in the back of my head which tempers my enthusiasm:

Tie-in movies usually suck.

Aaaahh!

2010-06-24T12:00:00.000-04:00

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!

Via Retrospace Zeta

Very, Very Patient Chows + Fur Dye =

2010-06-24T09:41:00.001-04:00

Stolen shamelessly from CuteOverload.

Molting

2010-06-23T09:58:00.001-04:00

If I suggested to you that this time-lapsed video looked like the classic scene from Alien, wherein one organism comes bursting from the body of another, thereby killing it, would you be able to watch it with a quiet mind?

You're welcome.

Watch at YouTube.

Tomorrow Will Never Come Again

2010-06-18T10:00:00.004-04:00

They have canceled Little Orphan Annie.

"They" in this case turns out to be Tribune Media Services, which announced on May 13, 2010 that LOA would cease to publish on June 13, 2010.

I'm not sure how much lead time the creators of a newspaper strip need, but apparently LOA didn't get enough because the strip stopped abruptly with Daddy Warbucks believing Annie dead and fed to sharks, while actually she was rescued by a notorious Eastern European ~~terrorist~~ war criminal, who press-ganged her into helping him.

Sheesh.

The creators are hoping that some other syndicate buys the strip and starts publishing it, but at the end there Annie was running in 20 newspapers across the nation, including, apparently, the New York Daily News, which has published the strip for the entirety of its 86-year run.

If I had a hat, I would remove it and crush it to my chest as though watching a funeral procession.

Congratulations on running almost 90 years, Little Orphan Annie.

More Fabulous With Every Passing Column!

2010-06-17T10:02:00.001-04:00

I have no idea.

Watch at YouTube.

OK Go -- End Love

2010-06-16T18:04:00.000-04:00

Watch at YouTube.

Fetch Your Poetry Appreciation Chairs

2010-06-07T19:54:00.003-04:00

William McGonagall was an astonishingly bad poet, the most famous example of whose body of work I inflict upon you below for your entertainment.

The Tay Bridge Disaster

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Courtesy The Annotated Pratchett File.

Oh. My. God.

2010-06-02T16:42:00.005-04:00

Colin Baker sings!

Watch at YouTube.

You might want to disable your embarrassment circuits before you click play.

The YouTube page says this is from the Doctor who Audio Book "Doctor Who and the Pirates." Lyrics at the Youtube page, if you expand the description below the movie.

I Think It's An Improvement? Maybe?

2010-05-28T11:18:00.005-04:00

Usedtabee, when a decent, God-fearing white American committed suicide, you'd get chain letters or emails with the structure of a parent searching the dead child's room and finding a book that wasn't expected:

Jesse Kilgore committed suicide in October by walking into the woods near his New York home and shooting himself. Keith Kilgore said he was shocked because he believed his son was grounded in Christianity, had blogged against abortion and for family values, and boasted he'd been debating for years.

After Jesse's death, Keith Kilgore ... searched Jesse's room and found the book under the mattress ....

Now what do you think Mr. Kilgore had found under his son's mattress?

If this were the 80's, or the 90's, or even sometimes the Aughts, you might expect the parent to have found one of the following:

or even

But what did Mr. Kilgore find under his son's mattress?

I think this might be an improvement? Maybe? Unfortunately, Jesse's still dead, but now the moral Chicken Littles are screaming about a book of substance instead of a harmless, lightweight pastime.

Personally I don't for one second think that The God Delusion alone drove this man to kill himself. He was a veteran, after all; who knows what psychological damage he was dealing with? And we must also consider the source: I found this on Fundies, but they source it to World Net Daily, a known screech rag. It does not present a neutral account of the man's death, instead getting all of its information from the man's father and relatives. They blame all of the man's troubles on his college education and the people he interacted with in school, thereby allowing WND a second target: Atheists and intellectuals. It's like a wingnut's wet dream, two screech targets with one stone.

Nutshell Rand Paul

2010-05-21T15:11:00.002-04:00

Your intolerance of private individuals' intolerance is intolerable to me.

That was him, in a letter to the Bowling Green Daily News, which was published in their May 30, 2002 edition.

Young Master Paul was seriously arguing that a society that legislates against discrimination in the private sector is not a free society, while at the same time arguing that the government should not discriminate using taxpayer dollars.

Mr. Paul's house of cards is divided against itself and cannot stand.

Nod to Crooks & Liars and Right Now.

How High Is the Water, Momma?

2010-05-07T10:16:00.003-04:00

Watch at YouTube.

Nashville Floods Claim Grand Ole Opry House.

So Nashville is Flooded ... How Can I Help?

Fuckers.

2010-04-30T14:05:00.003-04:00

Fox News: Mr. Rogers an "Evil" Man

Their argument goes, Mr. Rogers was always telling children how special they were; these children grew up with humongous egos and a vast sense of entitlement; and now they feel entitled to health care.

Like getting routine wellness care is something you get for outstanding achievement.

Wait: Do the Fox News folks seriously see as one of their lives' achievements the fact that they can afford not to die of something preventable?

Someone Robbed This Woman Of The Fruits Of Her Labor

2010-04-28T11:46:00.003-04:00

This poor young woman has spent several years earning one of the highest GPAs in her class, and at this moment captured on film she believes that she has spent that time committing the grave sin of "worshiping the intellectual mind:"

She then asserts that there are people in the audience who have not lived as Jesus has called them to live, prays that they will come to see the error of their ways, breaks into tears, starts shaking uncontrollably, and finally collapses. The video ends with one of the officers of the school asking someone to call an ambulance, and announcing the processional.

The note on the YouTube page says this occurred at Midwestern State University, Texas, and the video was posted to YouTube on January 26, 2010; but there is no other indication of when it occurred.

It is unclear from the video whether the girl in question was the salutatorian or the valedictorian. She's giving a "benediction."

Who messed with her mind so much? It seems a cruel and heartless thing to do, to rob this girl of her achievement and wind her up so much she collapses in public.

Then There Was The Time...

2010-04-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

... when Superboy decided, "Oh, to hell with it."

Image: The cover of Superboy #32, in which the Boy of the Future walks along a red carpet towards a throne, an elaborate crown atop his black-with-blue-highlight hair, and is adored by a crowd, prominent among them Ma and Pa Kent who apparently did not foresee this moment and are not, contrary to expectation, utterly appalled.

I Doubt It

2010-04-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

There was a little-known, ill-fated, and short-lived attempt in the early 1970s to revive Star Trek as an intergalactic racing show.

Heavily influenced by popular movies such as Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit, and the latest fad from Japan, Speed Racer, the new show would feature Kirk, Spock and McCoy solving mysteries and getting girls along the illegal Federation muscle car street racing circuit.

But then they decided to make the franchise into a Saturday morning cartoon, and it was largely acclaimed as the better choice.

Picture credit: Retrospace Zeta. Sometimes NSFW.

Shorter John Tierney, New York Times

2010-04-22T14:32:00.002-04:00

For Earth Day, 7 New Rules to Live By
John Tierney, the New York Times

Foolish Greenies, don't you know that your efforts to forestall Armageddon has ironically made the world a worse place?

Ha Ha Commie Lois Made Corner Bookstore Employees' Children Starve

2010-04-01T14:28:00.002-04:00

This might be one iota more amusing if you couldn't imagine Glenn Beck* making this exact same argument in the future.

*To pull an example out of my hat at random.

Stolen from the Comics Curmudgeon.

Late to the (Digital) Party

2010-03-31T09:21:00.002-04:00

Okay, so there's this site, Gamecrush.com.

Its business model, at first glance, is hardly new; it provides digital entertainment over the internet for a small fee ($6.60 for the first 10 minutes, $8.25 thereafter).

The digital entertainment it provides, however, is head-to-head games with women gamers. Apparently your fee gets you 500 credits; each 10-minute session costs you 400 of those credits. GameCrush skims 160 credits off the top, the woman gets the remaining 240 credits, and you can "tip" her your remaining 100 credits ... if she has earned them by being hot, playing well, and flirting like mad.

Jesus Christ, people, I thought we were trying to squash the lonely-loser image of people who play video games. Sheesh!

You can read more about this pathetic service, which is currently down and claims to have been overwhelmed by 10,000 page requests in 5 minutes, at Wikipedia -- but hurry, I'm afraid the article has been scheduled for termination.

Superman: Mixed Messages

2010-03-30T11:34:00.005-04:00

You ought to be able to click to embiggen.

If the picture doesn't load, here's a transcript:

PANEL ONE: Superman and some random guy are sitting on a rooftop talking. During this exchange, Superman looks to stage right and uses his heat vision to save someone's life.

RANDOM GUY: Then do you believe in a god?

SUPERMAN: One sec... window-washer's metal scaffolding about to snap four blocks away... okay, there.

PANEL TWO: A long shot from the crowd in the street below up at the building at an angle. Superman and the random guy are specks atop the building.

SUPERMAN: I believe in humanity. If I didn't, I wouldn't be out there every day doing what I do, you know?

PANEL THREE: Basically a reverse shot of Panel One, back up on the roof, but from behind Superman and his interlocutor.

RANDOM GUY: Well, you dodged that question pretty skillfully.

SUPERMAN: Bullets aren't the only thing I'm faster than. And while you shouldn't be afraid to live your life, don't rely on some kind of savior to bail you out. Rely on yourself.

Oh, boy. What a mixed and frankly incoherent message.

A savior, counseling people not to rely on saviors, but on themselves.

Just after he saves someone from a deathly plunge.

I suppose Supes may just be trying to reduce his workload by encouraging people to look out for themselves, but the myth of Superman is that he will be there. Are you a window washer in danger of falling off a high building? Superman will save you, although sometimes he has a little competition.

My point is, the people of Metropolis, of all places, don't have to rely on themselves because Superman will always intervene to resolve their situation. In fact, he has sometimes been punished in the past for slacking off; I recall a comic from the 90's in which he takes Lois off for a romantic Parisian dinner, thus being out of the way when the kidnapper-and-murderer iteration of the Toyman strikes a Halloween party and half-a-dozen children end up dead. Man, was that ever heavy-handed.

As for the random guy he's talking to: You're sitting right next to a god, man. Okay, he's not all-knowing or infallible, or all-powerful (outside of the Silver Age), but you can put your faith in him rather than your window-washing scaffolding (to choose an example at random), and he'll save you. He can't not save you. Okay, maybe he's not Jesus Christ (and lord is that a can of worms) but he's right next to you and you just saw him reach out and save someone. Why are you still having this conversation?

D'awwww

2010-03-28T18:13:00.001-04:00

Watch on Youtube.

Superman's Forbidden Room!

2010-03-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

You'll never get the blood off that egg, Lois.

(Seriously, could that room be any creepier? Stalkerish behavior from Kal-El: 1.)

Man Rams SUV Into Car Decorated With "Obama/Biden" Sticker

2010-03-26T13:25:00.003-04:00

This seems like a part of the silent social contract: A person can express a preference for a political ticket on that person's personal automobile with a reasonable expectation that no one is going to try to run said automobile off the road.

Unfortunately, some people seem to have rejected that notion.

In Nashville yesterday, a man picked up his 10-year-old daughter in his car that sports the natty Obama-Biden sticker from the federal election in 2008. Another motorist notices the sticker and proceeds to follow, honk at and give the finger to the man. This continues until the other motorist decides to run his SUV into the back of the man's vehicle and then, instead of driving away or getting out and exchanging insurance information, the motorist guns his engine and pushes the combined mass of motor vehicle nearly onto the sidewalk.

The aggressive motorist faces a charge of felony reckless endangerment.

More telling yet is the story of harassment and intimidation collectively told in the comments to that news post by people who sport Obiden stickers. Honking, finger-waving, and aggressive driving is something I have never experienced myself, with my Kerry-Edwards and Defeat Bush! stickers.

Chilling.

Via Shakesville, with much thanks.

Sometimes, I Really Despair

2010-03-25T13:17:00.001-04:00

How to Draw Fantasy Females: Create Sexy Cyberpunks, Seductive Supergirls, and Raunchy All-Action Heroines

Comics aren't all about the T&A!

They aren't!

You have to believe me!

*sobs*

And Then There Was The Time

2010-03-24T11:00:00.000-04:00

...Bob Fosse had a Villain Song in a film adaptation of St-Exupery's Le Petit Prince.

Jonathan Coulton + Doctor Who = WIN

2010-03-23T11:12:00.002-04:00

And let's hear it for Master/Doctor slash-fic.

Warning! Video contains footage of all the Masters, even the one that never existed.

Additional Warning! All those links go to TV Tropes. Get comfy before you click 'em.

79 Years and Still Sexy

2010-03-22T17:00:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday, Bill!

Green-Eyed Jealousy

2010-03-22T10:01:00.003-04:00

Our cat Spook sometimes does that same peering-over-the-ledge act with us. She hops in the tub while one of us is brushing our teeth and gives us this wide-eyed, ear-down I'mma-getcha look. Her stealth is generally spoiled because from a standing angle she's not at all hidden by the wall of the tub.

Via Cute Overload.

Central Park Beatles on the Ukelele

2010-03-19T16:53:00.000-04:00

Via Shakesville.

And Then There Was The Time

2010-03-18T13:30:00.001-04:00

Ma and Pa Kent got turned into teenagers and Clark had to sit on them to keep them from doing crazy, irresponsible things like moving to Metropolis.

Superboy 126 was apparently published in 1966. Martha and Jonathan drink some kind of fluid plot-device that turns them physically into adolescents (signified by their use of pre-Depression slang), and apparently also regresses them mentally, because it's heavily implied by the cover that Superboy, an adolescent himself (and absolutely no fun at parties), has to take responsibility and prevent them from doing totally crazy things like deciding they no longer want to live in Smallville. Who would want to move to Metropolis, anyway? It's only the City of the Future. Better to stick around and do vague, nondefined things on your farm.

Much thanks to the Internet, and specifically (postmodern barney).

Shorter John Edwards' Lover

2010-03-15T22:34:00.003-04:00

Rielle Hunter, Home-Wrecking Relationship Guru
Tracy Clark-Flory, Salon.com

Elizabeth Edwards is a ball-busting bitch and she did everything wrong in her marriage but I did everything right so listen to me when I dispense relationship advice.

The implications of Rielle Hunter's interview with GQ is enough to make me Hulk out and start smashing up real estate. Don't you dare try to victim-blame the cheated-upon, cancer-dying Elizabeth Edwards. A love affair with Rielle Hunter was not her decision.

Bonus rage: Describing Edwards' lover as a "home-wrecker," which has the effect of absolving Edwards himself of any and all guilt and/or responsibility. It's not his fault, don't you see, she seduced him! Plus it's slut-shaming and woman-blaming. Way to go, Salon. ::slow clap::

Why, Internet, Why?

2010-03-11T11:19:00.002-05:00

I have discovered a blog that's new to me, Post-Modern Barney.

Mr. Barney is, among other things, both a comic-book and a Doctor Who nerd.

He is also merciless with the weirder aspects of heterosexuality.

And I love him for it (in a manly, heterosexual way of course).

So it is with little shame that I steal this gem from him:

Oh. My. God.

2010-03-03T08:27:00.001-05:00

This is hilariously awesome.

The influence of Gary Larson knows no bounds.

Hey Bulldog

2010-02-26T19:41:00.001-05:00

Because I have always loved it.

This Time ...

2010-02-25T21:03:00.001-05:00

... he had pushed her too far.

Pffft Ha Ha Ha Ha!

2010-02-24T23:23:00.002-05:00

By one Roger Langridge. From Electronic Cerebrectomy.

"Baby-Face" Skywalker

2010-02-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

Mark Hamill in an episode of The Partridge Family.

Another one from Retrospace, in this case a post detailing all the little cameos in Partridge Family -- including Richard Pryor (!).

Wow (For Another Reason)

2010-02-24T16:15:00.003-05:00

I can grok all the rest of her posture -- but why is she en pointe? What's "Ridgid" about that?

Via Retrospace.

Thirty-One

2010-02-23T15:01:00.000-05:00

Bring it on, world!

What The What?

2010-02-18T13:09:00.003-05:00

I'm just going to reprint the whole of this:

A well-heeled Philadelphia school district gave out laptops to students—then used the webcams attached to covertly spy on them, both at school and at home, according to a class-action lawsuit. The case, Blake J. Robbins v. Lower Merion School District, was filed after one of the school’s vice principals disciplined Robbins’ son for “improper behavior in his home,” using a photo taken from the camera as evidence, according to the filing.

The laptops were issued to 1,800 students at three high schools in the district, each with a built-in webcam that, according to the lawsuit, administrators can activate remotely and covertly. The suit is a class action, brought on behalf of all the students and their parents. They’re seeking damages for invasion of privacy, theft of private information, and unlawful interception and access of electronic information.

Words fail me.

Wow

2010-02-10T09:33:00.002-05:00

From EpicWinFTW.

Man Attempts to Drown His Daughter, Age 4

2010-02-08T14:01:00.002-05:00

She wouldn't recite the alphabet, so he picked her up, placed her on the countertop, and pushed her head into a bowl of water.

He'd just been awarded custody of the little girl, too.

Terrible.

Friday AM Cuteness

2010-02-05T09:52:00.001-05:00

From Cute Overload.

Also from Cute Overload: Open your mouth and close your eyes....

Annette's Secret Passage

2010-02-04T15:56:00.000-05:00

Cause for thirteen year olds the country over to snicker knowingly.

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

2010-01-13T18:00:00.003-05:00

From 1939, via Shorpy.

Not In Those Shoes, Lady

2010-01-13T16:08:00.006-05:00

Dorothy Parker, Ms. Washington 1938. Perhaps a somewhat impromptu photo op. I believe you can still see marks just above her knees from her elastic stocking tops, in addition to wearing her heels on the ladder to the diving board.

Via the vintage photograph aggregator blog, Shorpy's. I heartily recommend them for a rapt afternoon of surfing.

I'll come and gang by Carterhaugh

2009-12-22T12:00:00.002-05:00

I forbid you maidens all that wear gold in your hair
To travel to Carter Hall for young Tam Lin is there

None that go by Carter Hall but they leave him a pledge
Either their mantles of green or else their maidenhead"

Janet tied her kirtle green a bit above her knee
And she's gone to Carter Hall as fast as go can she

She'd not pulled a double rose, a rose but only two
When up there came young Tam Lin says "Lady, pull no more"

"And why come you to Carter Hall without command from me?"
"I'll come and go", young Janet said, "and ask no leave of thee"

Janet tied her kirtle green a bit above her knee
And she's gone to her father as fast as go can she

Well, up then spoke her father dear and he spoke meek and mild
"Oh, and alas, Janet," he said, "I think you go with child"

"Well, if that be so," Janet said, "myself shall bear the blame
There's not a knight in all your hall shall get the baby's name

For if my love were an earthly knight as he is an elfin grey
I'd not change my own true love for any knight you have"

Janet tied her kirtle green a bit above her knee
And she's gone to Carter Hall as fast as go can she

"Oh, tell to me, Tam Lin," she said, "why came you here to dwell?"
"The Queen of Faeries caught me when from my horse I fell

And at the end of seven years she pays a tithe to hell
I so fair and full of flesh and feared it be myself

But tonight is Hallowe'en and the faery folk ride
Those that would their true love win at Miles Cross they must buy

So first let past the horses black and then let past the brown
Quickly run to the white steed and pull the rider down

For I'll ride on the white steed, the nearest to the town
For I was an earthly knight, they give me that renown

Oh, they will turn me in your arms to a newt or a snake
But hold me tight and fear not, I am your baby's father

And they will turn me in your arms into a lion bold
But hold me tight and fear not and you will love your child

And they will turn me in your arms into a naked knight
But cloak me in your mantle and keep me out of sight."

In the middle of the night she heard the bridle ring
She heeded what he did say and young Tam Lin did win

Then up spoke the Faery Queen, an angry queen was she
Woe betide her ?ill-fought? face, an ill death may she die

"Oh, had I known, Tam Lin," she said, "what this knight I did see
I have looked him in the eyes and turned him to a tree."

The second-to-last verse contains the Faerie Queen's description of Janet's "ill-far'd face." This seems to have been preserved from the Child Ballad when so much else was jettisoned or adapted.

For instance, the Queen goes on to proclaim that "I wad hae taen out thy twa grey een, / And put in twa een o tree" had she known Tam Lin was angling on escaping her grasp.

This is the Faerie Queen much closer to that of Terry Pratchett than of any Victorian idyllist.

There was a recent discussion on Making Light about whether or not the demigods of the imagination which may thrive on our belief might be conscious of the stories we tell of them now*; I wonder if the Faerie Queen seethes every time I play this song.

*Begun by Abi Sutherland wondering if the ur-Harpy remembers Mommy Fortuna and that wild night she escaped her cage.

(I guess this is all really an exercise in a collective-universe flight of fancy.)

Zappadan: Day Zero

2009-12-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

I haven't been honoring Zappadan this year; by the end of the tradition last year I was having trouble finding songs I hadn't posted and I couldn't think of a follow-up this year.

But I will call this out: the Official Zappadan Cupcakes.

For some reason I think I'll pass.

Is That What They Call It These Days

2009-12-21T21:56:00.001-05:00

One morning in the month of June,
As from my cot' I strayed.
Just at the dawning of the day
I met with a charming maid.
'Good morning you, whither?' said I,
'Good morning to you now',
The maid replied, 'kind sir' she cried,
'I've lost my spotted cow'.
'No longer weep, no longer mourn,
Your cow's not lost my dear,
I saw her down in yonder grove,
Come love and I'll show you where'.
'I must confess you're very kind,
I thank you sir,' said she,
'We will be sure her there to find,
Come sweetheart, go with me'.
And in the grove they spent the day,
They thought it passed too soon,
At night they homeward bent their way,
While brightly shone the moon.
If he should cross the flowery dale,
Or go to view the plough,
She comes and calls, 'You gentle swain,
I've lost my spotted cow

Oh Dear

2009-12-18T10:14:00.001-05:00

Don't let this in your house! That's the first step in their plan!

Preview Panel

2009-12-15T20:50:00.004-05:00

A sneak peek at a (very rough) preliminary version of a thing I'm doing with me mum.

Warning: I suck at the digital art right now. It will improve! but this is basically my first try.

I Have Obtained A Thing

2009-12-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

Oh yeah, nothing's going to stop me from rocking your world with my fabulous digital art skills.

Oh yeah, I just rocked your world!

We Have Bombed the Moon

2009-10-15T09:54:00.002-04:00

NASA's LCROSS probe crashed into the Lunar south pole early Friday morning.

It had a Twitter feed. I heartily recommend you go read the last few tweets.

...

2009-10-07T17:00:00.001-04:00

Funktionide Part II from eltopo on Vimeo.

/me squirms.

I don't want it crawling into bed with me when I'm asleep. Next it'll be getting into the liquor cabinet and helping itself to the silver.

There's A New Theory

2009-10-03T18:12:00.000-04:00

Friday Catblogging

2009-10-02T16:00:00.000-04:00

A rather slow-motion waltz from the cast of the Batman movie. The woman in the purple catsuit is Lee Meriwether, unfortunately neither Julie Newmar nor Eartha Kitt.

I gather the black cat is some sort of McGuffin, although why Catwoman would throw it at Batman is something of a mystery to me. Perhaps it is a weaponized cat, and rather than just dump it over the side like he's doing to everyone else, Bats puts it in a rubber dinghy and sets it adrift with no food or water because he's humane like that.

D'Awww

2009-10-01T10:53:00.001-04:00

Yoinked from CuteOverload.

Wow

2009-09-24T12:30:00.000-04:00

Via Pharyngula.

Oh Shit

2009-09-24T10:28:00.002-04:00

US Census Worker Found Hanged in Kentucky:

When Bill Sparkman told retired trooper Gilbert Acciardo that he was going door-to-door collecting census data in rural Kentucky, the former cop drew on years of experience for a warning: "Be careful."

The 51-year-old Sparkman was found this month hanged from a tree near a Kentucky cemetery with the word "fed" scrawled on his chest, a law enforcement official said Wednesday, and the FBI is investigating whether he was a victim of anti-government sentiment.

Oh shit.

Hat tip to skippy the bush kangaroo.

Redefining The Action Figure

2009-09-20T08:52:00.002-04:00

Preeeeeesenting!!

The Inaction Figure!

(Picture yoinked from Shakesville.)

The Final Confrontation

2009-09-09T21:00:00.000-04:00

A Day Without Cats, Chapter 6

Oops.

A Word From Dennis Crane

2009-09-09T19:00:00.000-04:00

A Day Without Cats, Chapter 5

see more Lol Celebs

A Three-Hour Tour

2009-09-09T17:00:00.000-04:00

A Day Without Cats, Chapter 4

see more Lol Celebs

A Message From The UFPSPCA

2009-09-09T15:00:00.000-04:00

A Day Without Cats, Chapter 3

see more Lol Celebs

To Hug The Mountain

2009-09-09T13:00:00.000-04:00

A Day Without Cats, Chapter 2

A Day Without Cats?

2009-09-09T11:30:00.000-04:00

Someone has declared today, 9/9/2009, to be a day without cats on the Internet.

Fine. I'm cool with that.

But you risk getting glutted on that other Internet ominpresence...

see more Lol Celebs

Bill Shatner!!

Oh, Grand

2009-09-08T13:53:00.000-04:00

PeTA continues to grab attention for its issues by exploiting women.

I have no idea who Nia Long is, I'll be frank, but I'm glad to see PeTA is continuing to value animals over women so much.

I grabbed this photo over at Photoshop Disasters, who put it up because of the awful 'shop job done on putting in the subway, but also because PeTA is aggravating.

I'm more concerned that they chose a photo of Ms. Long that was not entirely artfully arranged. They have a couple spots to cover up, and by coincidence the two are almost vertically aligned, so the art department decides to put in a pole to preserve modesty.

"It's a subway, right? There are poles in the subway cars to hang on to, right? So who'll notice this?" I imagine they said.

Except it's right in front of the doors, and the way they've put it in makes her look like a pole dancer.

While they were busy airbrushing out all her moles and her belly, couldn't they just have covered over her naughty bits?

Nope, it's easier to try and evoke sexy times than put in a bit more work.

And who wears fur? Are straight men and gay women really the largest consumers of fur? Are there no straight women who buy fur? How is this ad supposed to appeal to them? Where are the naked Bruce Willises and Matt Damons demonstrating their abhorrence for the fur industry?

Now That's A Senator

2009-09-08T13:33:00.000-04:00

Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) draws a rough map of the United States.

Wow. I so want to hear what he's saying as he draws this map.

Onh-Honh, Onh-Honh

2009-08-21T16:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, what a sparse month I'm having. Just got the blogging blehs. That might come out to blegging, but I know lots of people who use that term to reference the act of drumming up donations. I suppose you could spell it blehgging, but the potential for confusion is still pretty high.

Anyway, a bit of anthologized nostalgia for your amusement.

Ooooooooooh

2009-08-12T15:43:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ!

2009-08-01T19:28:00.002-04:00

Bill Maher interviews Jeff Sharlet about his new book, The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, and it turns out that the Family teaches our congresscritters that if they have amassed power, it's because God wants them there. Forget feeding the poor, afflicting the comfortable, all that rot: Hitler rose and fell at God's whim, and Pinochet, and you, and while you're up, you don't have to worry about all that morality and ethics shit; that's for the little people. That's for the Jews and the Chilean street. So go ahead, hike the hell out of that Appalachian trail; you're just like King David, indispensable.

Oh, and they also briefly mention a tank lieutenant who painted his tank up with "Jesus killed Mohammed" in Arabic and drove down a street in the Middle East somewhere, and then had the gall to claim fear of violence in retaliation. I can think of nothing else more likely to evoke a violent response out of the Muslims we are currently occupying. Bet he wouldn't have the balls to do that with Jesus, Joseph Smith, and Salt Lake City.

Steampunk Mask

2009-07-30T16:47:00.002-04:00

Look at this picture ... then right-click this link and select "Open in new tab" for the best effect. (Speakers on!)

The Falcon's Gyre

Oak Ridge Community Orchestra, May 2011 Concert

One Year Shy of a Century

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

Behold!

Ahh, Suburbia

Vanity Plate

It's a Little Dimmer Today

And Then There Was The Time ...

White Wine in the Sun

Truths for Mature Humans

Someone Miscalculated.

'They'

Pratchett Knighted; Forges Sword

Never Work With Children Or Animals

I Don't Think It Works That Way

Nerd Shirt!

Oh, Wow, You're Still Here?

The Wit & Wisdom of Stephen Fry

08:15 a.m., August 6, 1945: 80,000

This Is Why Internet Polls Don't Work

Cost 'Em Some Money

Ricardo Montalban:

Somewhere, Alan Moore Is Smiling

Barbara Ehrenreich on the Perils of Positive Thinking

She Has A Storefront Down On 34th & Vine

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, FOLKS!!!

Rick Barber's Tax Scheme

JAQing Off

2012: The Doctor Who Movie

Aaaahh!

Very, Very Patient Chows + Fur Dye =

Molting

Tomorrow Will Never Come Again

More Fabulous With Every Passing Column!

OK Go -- End Love

Fetch Your Poetry Appreciation Chairs

Oh. My. God.

I Think It's An Improvement? Maybe?

Nutshell Rand Paul

How High Is the Water, Momma?

Fuckers.

Someone Robbed This Woman Of The Fruits Of Her Labor

Then There Was The Time...

I Doubt It

Shorter John Tierney, New York Times

Ha Ha Commie Lois Made Corner Bookstore Employees' Children Starve

Late to the (Digital) Party

Superman: Mixed Messages

D'awwww

Superman's Forbidden Room!

Man Rams SUV Into Car Decorated With "Obama/Biden" Sticker

Sometimes, I Really Despair

And Then There Was The Time

Jonathan Coulton + Doctor Who = WIN

79 Years and Still Sexy

Green-Eyed Jealousy

Central Park Beatles on the Ukelele

And Then There Was The Time

Shorter John Edwards' Lover

Why, Internet, Why?

Oh. My. God.

Hey Bulldog

This Time ...

Pffft Ha Ha Ha Ha!

"Baby-Face" Skywalker

Wow (For Another Reason)

Thirty-One

What The What?

Wow

Man Attempts to Drown His Daughter, Age 4

Friday AM Cuteness

Annette's Secret Passage

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

Not In Those Shoes, Lady

I'll come and gang by Carterhaugh

Zappadan: Day Zero

Is *That* What They Call It These Days

Oh Dear

Preview Panel

Is That What They Call It These Days