Shorter Elizabeth Wurtzel

Beauty Fades, Loneliness Is Forever
Prozac Nation's Elizabeth Wurtzel confronts her fear of aging and losing her good looks

I was a prom queen, but now I'm over 40 and I'm a horrible ugly hag and my One True Chance At Happiness threw a half-full bottle of liquor at my head and told me I'd never really be happy without him so it's like some kind of evil fairy godmother has cursed me to be unhappy because I feel guilty about cheating on him.

(Seriously, though, if society tells you the only reason you could possibly be worth anything is if you can win beauty contests, and you proceed to do so, then it must be awful to believe that once you find that one wrinkle or that sole grey hair the only option is a crash-and-burn. See this article at Pandagon for a fairly sympathetic reaction to this column.)

It Could Have Been Worse, I Suppose

Star Wars isn't the most cerebral or deep of movies. It relies far too much on hand-waving and armed conflict to move the plot along, it's got a Doomed Home Moisture Farm, not to mention a Doomed Pacifist Planet, and the editing is perhaps a smidge too ADHD; I think it held the record for the number of edits for a movie when it came out.

But at least Lucas didn't go with the early script where Leia gets lippy and "Annikin Starkiller" "has" to punch her out.

Thank goodness for small blessings, I suppose.

Shorter Sam Schulman

The Worst Thing About Gay Marriage
It isn't going to work.
by Sam Schulman
06/01/2009, Volume 014, Issue 35 [The Weekly Standard]

Nowadays gays get to marry for love. This is entirely unfair to the thousands of years of men and women who had to get married and produce heirs not for love, but for money or land or politics, regardless of their thoughts on the whole procedure. Incidentally, I'm not homophobic, I just don't like to have Them around me*.

*Something that was actually said in my actual earshot several years ago, regarding racism and black people. Oy vey.

OMG Re-Dead Of Cute!!

The important thing to remember here, peeps, I say the important thing to remember, is...

Can he teach you the ways of the Jedi?!

It Has Become A Law

No film may be produced in Hollywood in the 21st Century that is not targeted entirely to the 18-to-45 male moviegoer. Don't even try to get your movie produced unless it has at least one big explosion and an extended melee choreography.



So let it be written.

Awesomesauce

So Kim Graham seems to be a costumier who's determined to let people play a giant Mr. Tumnus or perhaps the Minotaur.

I would worry about back and leg pain after prolonged use, but otherwise it looks simply awesome.

Via Steve Jackson Games.

Ten-Year Anniversary

Ten years ago, to this very day, starting around 8:30 or so tonight, George Lucas ruined my childhood.

We all got tickets, me and my friends at Centre, and we all went out en masse to watch it. I remember the theater was just packed. There was a pillar in the seats and that was the only place left when we got inside, so I got stuck (or did I volunteer?) craning around the thing to watch the movie.

Kreative Blogger Meme

Onoez! Tagged by a meme by my mother! Mama, how could you!? Now I have to update my blog! :P

So I guess I stick this thing here:



And now I list seven things I like, in no particular order and by no means exhaustive:

1. Star Trek: As Lance Mannion says, Star Trek is a story about a shipful of nerds who go out and explore the galaxy.

2. Rain in the predawn light when I can snuggle in bed and just listen.

3. Music. I am constantly listening to something on the radio or on the computer.

4. Cats. When they're being loving and companionable, less so when they've just sent their dinner back to the kitchen ... three hours too late.

5. Horses. Wonderful, wind-swift horses in all their grace and strength and irritating stupidity. My high school band once commissioned a piece of music inspired by all the horse farms in the Bluegrass. That wasn't so great.

6. Pizza. There are a couple of Mellow Mushroom franchises in Knoxville, and there you can get all kinds of gourmet pizza. It doesn't have to be Papa John's cheese and two toppings deep-fat-fried gunk.

7. The Intarwebs. All kinds of information, and any number of pinatas at my disposal, there for me to find if I'll only look.

I'm supposed to tag seven other blogs, but I'm a small fish in a big ocean. I doubt the big fish like Pharyngula, Pandagon, Slacktivist and Shakesville would even notice me were I to stroll up and nibble (all links can be found in this elegant and finely-crafted sidebar -->).

Dell: Stop Digging Now

Dell Computers have launched Della, a website geared towards women.

It tells you how to accessorize with your laptop, reminds you that your laptop can do a lot more than check e-mail, and hosts videos addressing a wide range of topics, from searching online databases for new recipes to a how-to video concerning searching for the best deals in vintage clothing stores.

That hole's six feet deep, Dell. I'd advise you to stop digging.

h/t Correntewire.

Doot Dee Doo, Checking The Web

Oh, Burger King has a tie-in deal with the new Star Trek movie. Ho-hum, I stopped really paying attention to them when they had Apu (a Hindu!!) pushing their burgers around the time the Simpsons movie came out. Whole lot of fail there.

Oh, all right. Curiosity mildly inconvenienced the cat. Let's see how they're getting it wrong this time.

(click to embiggen)


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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

KLINGON BURGER KINGS!

O GREAT CTHULHU EAT ME NOW AND SPARE ME THE HORROR!