Thursday, April 10, 2008

We Get Visitors

So we just had a visit from a couple of young women shilling for Check Into Cash in the office. They dropped off a handful of flyers that have some smiling, handsome handyman whose precise profession is hard to determine, and a handful of cheap pens with their logo on 'em. They promised us $20 cash for every person we send down there.

So, we're gonna rake in that cash real fast. Watch us refer people. Any day now, we're gonna start.

But that doesn't top the visitor we had the other day.

I've already told you about the Christian missionary from the Phillipines who tried to solicit donations from me some months ago.

Well, now we've had another missionary, this one from much closer to home. She came in with an armful of books hoping to get me to cough up a buck or two to fund their school/mission/thing, in exchange for which I would get FABULOUS PRIZES including (but not limited to):

1. A Health Food Cook Book (It's healthy! For your soul! See? It's got Christ in it!)

2. A Children's Book (Look mommy! Pastel Jesus is drawing the eyes back on that beggar so he can see again!)

3. A Propaganda Vehicle (Jesus watches over our troops and gives them victory on the battlefield!)

That last one had a blurb about "The Terrorist behind the Terrorists!" I shit you not. Wonder who that could be.

Take it away, Early Nineties Dana Carvey!

Seriously, it was a military fluff piece mixed with blatant Christian proselytizing.

How. Could I ever. Possibly. Resist.

So I sent this poor young girl, who was only trying to help me Savior the Flavor, away with no cash because I simply don't carry much these days, and damned if I'm going to dip into the (very) petty cash just to get her out of the office.

I even refused her offer to say a quick prayer with me.

I'm a bad boy.


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Randi said...

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